Testimony of Taryn McGuire

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My earliest memories of church are ones of intrigue and awe. However, as I approached my teens, the intrigue had worn off and I felt boggled down by rules and expectations, and this over-riding feeling that something was missing. Fortunately, my mom was also feeling this void and a significant decision was made - we left the Catholic church and began attending a non-denominational church. And as a result, I began to experience the love of Jesus in ways that I didn't know were possible. A huge revelation for me came when I was 14 when my youth pastor told me that Jesus knew me inside and out and still wanted to be my best friend. This was mind-boggling for a teen who felt like she had to put on a mask for people to like her. And, this totally contradicted the traditional idea that God and Jesus are out of reach because of their holiness. I was baptized at the age of 16, and from that day forward readily got involved in service within the church, clubs, and youth missions.  

I still had a lot of growing to do, and so many questions. Fortunately, God blessed me with a fantastic youth pastor, a great youth group (many of whom I also went to school with), and a mother that loved God! Through it all, though, I couldn't piece together how I fit into God's plan. One thing I did know was that I had a desire to serve the less fortunate, which all started from a World Vision commercial I saw as a seven or eight year old. In that brief moment, I realized that every child wasn't as fortunate as me, and my heart ached for them. That inspired me to buy my first - and only - lottery ticket! I was sure that if my sister and I saved our meager allowance of 25 cents for two weeks, we would definitely hold the winning numbers for the $1 million dollar lottery. Little did my sister know, I had no intention of sharing the money with her - I had the entire $1 million already divvied up! I wanted to help my parents and grandparents and buy a few toys for my younger sister, but the bulk of the money was going to help the children in Africa.  Did we win?  Of course not. But that didn't lessen this passion that had taken hold of me. 

As a teen, I was still baffled by how my passion to serve the less fortunate fit into God's plan for my life and how it could fit into a life of missions. You see, my idea of missions revolved solely on preaching the Good News, but the thought of preaching scared the heck out of me! Could my passion and missions fit together? What if my passions weren't actually from God, but of my own desires? This scared me! The words of my youth pastor have rung through my ears a thousand times since I shot these questions his way ..... "Our deepest passions, the ones that are a blessing to others, can only be of God's doing! And, God has given us all unique gifts - not everyone has been created to be a preacher - so go out and use the gifts He has given you!"     

I'd like to say it was smooth sailing from that point on, but it sure wasn't. As I and so many of my friends left for university, I struggled without those foundational relationships. I began dating a non-Christian, and as the relationship progressed I began to believe a lie the devil had planted: " I cannot be forgiven because my sins are too great." The destructiveness of the relationship I was in spilled over into my spiritual life and I began questioning God's motives in allowing these negative circumstances. This lead to me eventually believing the lie that my circumstances were my punishment for the sin in my life.  

But wait, the story gets better! When I was 25, the most amazing thing happened: I became free! My long-term relationship suddenly ended, and God's voice became louder than the lies I had believed for so many years. I heard Him say, "Ask for forgiveness and I will forgive." It was that simple, and all the shame and guilt I felt were lifted immediately from my shoulders. As my spiritual life blossomed again, God blessed me with a life-giving, Christ-centered relationship with my husband, Ryan.

Since then, I have had the great fortune of serving with my husband in countries in Central America (Nicaragua - 1 month house building; Honduras -  1 month teaching, 3 months at an orphanage) and in Kenya (6 months teaching at a Christian school + local ministries). For me, these experiences are a reminder that we aren't supposed to simply exist or live lives revolved around "self", but instead we're supposed to devote our lives fully to God's purposes! Personally, I want everything that I say and do to mirror Christ's love and His radical giving! 

The next step: Haiti. The idea of being a part of a mission trip comprised of a small group of young women brings so much joy to my spirit! I believe we are going to be such a blessing to each other and to those that we serve in Haiti. I am excited to see how God is going to use each of us and what He is going to teach each of us as we prepare together and as we serve together. And from a personal stand-point, my closest family and friends have heard me say on a number of occasions that I often feel out of place in Western society, and that my heart longs to live with the less fortunate. And so, even if it is for just a short period of time, I feel like God is bringing me "home" and I am going to embrace every moment.

I often find encouragement from Proverbs 30:8-9, which reads, "...give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise I may have too much and disown you and say, 'Who is the Lord?' Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God."