On salvation:
I had the privilege of growing up in a Christian home, where we went to Sunday School each week, and memorized lots of verses, which have been a blessing to this day.As a child my faith really was based on what my parents told me, not what the Bible says. I did believe in Jesus saving me from my sins, that He could give me life in heaven instead of hell. But then each year (or less) there would be a group that came and told us what it means to get saved, and I was always so worried that I hadn't 'done it right' and that I better get saved again! and again! and again! When I was 13, a pastor came to our church and told us a story of a man who always thought he wasn't saved, no matter how many times be believed. This man was living in fear all the time of dying and going to hell, and as a result he wasn't able to grow as a Christian. Well, one day he decided to try something different. He went outside, drove a stake in the ground and carved the date in the stake. After that, anytime he started to have these fears, he pointed to the stake in the ground that is the physical reminder that God indeed had forgiven him and Christ had paid for his sins and he is saved, no matter what he felt. That was a big moment for me, I wrote that date in my Bible, stating that God has forgiven me of my sins and Christ has paid for them. It seems like such a small thing to do, but for me it was big. I did have to take out my Bible every now and then and read that little statement in there to assure myself sometimes. Now that I understand a bit more of the Bible, I know it is Christ who saved, the Holy Spirit who seals me, and I don't fear that nearly as often anymore!
On Baptism:
When I was 12, my family was getting ready to go to Zaire (Democratic Republic of the Congo it's called now), and I really wanted to be baptized before we left. The church we were at gave a big folder of papers to go through, with just tons of questions, in order to be baptized. I think that was the first time I realized that my faith was based on what my parents told me, not on the Bible. I kept going to them and asking for answers to the questions and it frustrated me to no end that they wouldn't tell me!! For me, it was just simply that the Bible said to be baptized and I wanted to obey. But those questions made me search the Bible for answers and I think that was a stepping stone for growth for me.
On Spiritual Growth:
In Grade 10 I had some JW friends that rode the school bus with me for 2 hours each way. One day, one of them sat down with me and tried to convert me. This was one of those moments in life that slap you across the face and wake you up! I remember being absolutely humiliated and shocked that I had no answers for the hope I have in Christ. I walked in the door to our house crying my eyes out that I was such a failure as a Christian. I distinctly remember my dad saying to me that I needed to learn the answers from Scripture myself, and he wouldn't explain anything to me. Way to go dad!!! I took on this challenge with all the ambition I could muster up as a 15 year old. It didn't take me long to stop searching for answers to refute the JW religion, and started simply learning what it means to be a Christian. I didn't understand most of what I read in my Bible, but it was a start for me. I started to read and read and read! God gave me this hunger for His Word that was stronger than I have probably ever felt since. The summer after highschool, I worked at Camp Sagitawa, a Christian kids camp. I remember having the same issues there as I did with that JW friend of mine. I had no answers! In tears, I went to a friend who was a strong Christian and asked him if he thought I should be there at this Camp, when I had no answers and couldnt help these kids, I just felt like I couldn't do it! I will never forget, he said to me, "no you cant do it, and that is exactly where God wants you, because He wants to do it through you." And it occurred to me that I wasn't relying on God, but on my own wisdom for answers. So, back to Scripture I went! This is when God taught me to pray. I would sit on the deck overlooking the lake and read and pray and pray and pray for those kids and for help. God gave me a love for Scripture and for Himself as I read through the Psalms and found myself in David's cries for help.
I still don't know why people believed in me so much, but there was enough generosity to get me through a year of Bible school. And I was so excited to learn!! Truthfully, I learned a little, but mostly just grew up a bit there.
On Missions:
While at Bible college, God gave me a desire to do missions and brought Venture Teams International along. I joined them and did 2 trips, which is 2 years. God gave me a ministry of prayer with my first team, and it changed my heart. There was alot of bitterness and anger there, and God worked it out so that the skits I was supposed to be angry in were really hard to act out after that first year! During that year, God allowed me to get really sick. In Tanzania, I came down with Cerebral Malaria, dysentery, Parasites, amoebas, and several infections. On Christmas day, they were calling my parents telling them that they were going to try to send me home on the airplane but I may not live through it. For some odd reason, they gave me the choice to go or stay and I chose to stay. It was a near-death experience that was SO not life-changing! I just remember lying there staring at the ceiling or sleeping the whole time. There were many that came to see me, and I would visit with them and try to reassure them. There was alot of fear then. The funny thing is that some of the Tanzanian church people we were traveling with, told me that they were so amazed when they came to visit me and encourage me I always had a smile on my face! haha! THAT was God! I was too sick to even know what was happening!! It took me a month before I could sit up with out passing out, and then another month before I could walk without over-doing it. God provided a missionary family for me to stay with while I recovered, she was a nurse too!! This family took me in and treated me like one of their own kids. THey were so honest with me about what being a career missionary was. I LOVED it in Tanzania regardless of what happened there. My team grew really close as a result of the trials we faced together and I knew that I wanted to do full time missions.
After VTI, I went in search of a mission organization. Funny thing that happened, even though mission organizations are always begging for more missionaries, they all turned me away!!! They wanted me to get a degree in something, it apparently didnt matter in what. I really had no clear direction from God as to what career to go to school for, so I worked for 4 years before I heard of New Tribes Mission. I was with NTM for 7 years and I dont regret a minute of it! God used those amazing missionaries to teach me so much of His grace and His plan and purpose for my life. I learned much of the Bible, of theology, what we believe and why. The first 3 years were an amazing time of growth in my understanding of truth, and my relationship with God. He is so good, and I see that time as a gift from Him. God directed me to Guinea, West Africa to the Moslem people. There is so much that God taught me there, about His faithfulness, His grace, His Sovereignty, and so much more! God taught me what it means to forgive, what it means to truly love. He showed me the gut-wrenching pain of losing a Moslem friend to an unknown illness. And then He taught me what it means to trust Him no matter what the circumstances. This one is an on-going process :-) I got increasingly sick while in Guinea, and had to leave the mission. I came back to Canada so disillusioned and afraid. It really didnt make sense to me why God would bring me through all of that, just to send me back to Canada! The doctors told me I would never be able to go back into overseas missions with this illness. AT that time, God brought along a Christian man that I married 2 and half years ago. Funny thing is, a year ago i had surgery that has made me increasingly healthier, and it turns out my husband is the one that cant go overseas because of HIS illness!!! I still have a passion for missions, overseas and locally. God has used the difficulties in my life to reach out and love others going through similar stuff. God has brought so many women into my life that HE has used me to encourage and give hope to. God's ways are truly best and it's an honor to be used by Him in this life. I look forward to what He will do in and through me in this trip to Haiti!!!
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